Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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