If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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