My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
