I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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