There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
