I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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