3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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