I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
