just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
