If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
false alarm, still single
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