You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
