Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
