Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My hand turned me down
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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