The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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