just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
