he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
