Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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