he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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