R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
