super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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