addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
