Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
