i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you had me at cake vodka
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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