he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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