I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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