I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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