pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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