how can u be prego again
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Randomize