Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
