we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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