Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
