He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
