bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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