hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
third nipple confirmed
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
