Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
