I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I FOUND THE LEGS
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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