Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
