Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize