u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
