Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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