I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
