I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
