Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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