I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
