I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
