I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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