got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
