You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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