She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
