is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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