Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
