if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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