soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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