I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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