So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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