Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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