i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
