Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
