If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
