Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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