I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
