O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
