Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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