so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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